Korean boy bands are banned in China. Why? Insiders who have escaped China to report the truth have said some strange things about Prez Xi.
“He likes them very much. I mean, LIKE likes them. The emperor of China listens to boy bands on his iPod all the time. When he thinks he’s alone, he dances to them. I cleaned his house and saw him all the time, but we say nothing so we don’t die. Xi is homosexual. Don’t say this to anyone. He likes Korean boys, especially ones who wear cosmetics and hug each other a lot and stare into each other’s eyes longingly. Gives Xi big boner – well, wittle pickle – when he see Korean boy dry-hump each other on stage.”
This reporter has vowed not to divulge the identity of the source, so please forget that part about the source cleaning Xi’s house. Thanks.
